The Unrequited Love Paradox
by Darkly Dreaming
Summary: Set during The Launch Acceleration. Penny harbors secret feelings for Sheldon and only Raj knows. He takes a picture of Sheldon in the tux and sends it to Penny. ONE-SHOT. Mild angst.


Spoilers for: The Roommate Transmogrification, The Skank Reflex Analysis, and The Launch Acceleration.

A/N: As an avid Shenny shipper, and a general fan of the Raj/Penny friendship, this popped into my head after watching Thursday's episode. I can't help myself.

Please excuse any inconsistencies in canon as I haven't actually seen every episode yet. I did, however, try to do as much research as I could about the episodes I haven't seen. I'm not 100% sure on the Lenny timeline, either, so just...go with it. XD

* * *

"I look like the Flash about to get married."

While Sheldon was admiring himself in the mirror, Raj took a picture on his phone and sent it to Penny, who would appreciate the sight more than they would. A second later Sheldon flipped out over a tissue in the pants pocket and ran screaming for his Purell.

Penny's phone beeped a message. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the picture Raj had sent. Sheldon was in a suit and what looked like red long underwear, but he somehow made that work. He was smiling at himself in a full length mirror and cut quite the dashing figure. Different from his dark suit she had picked out for him, but definitely handsome. It made the butterflies in her stomach flutter incessantly. He looked good in black and white.

Penny liked Sheldon a little more than she probably should. She couldn't pinpoint when her feelings had changed, she just knew that they had. And with Amy in the picture for the foreseeable future, and possibly even the unforeseeable future, she couldn't do anything about it. So she stayed with Leonard. Not the best or fairest decision, of course, but she didn't want to be lonely. She had told Raj as much after they had "slept together." Raj had convinced her for a while that it wasn't a mistake to let go of Leonard, but when Leonard suggested the Beta Test thing she jumped at the chance to not be alone. She didn't want to look desperate, though, so she hid her feelings of loneliness. She told a disapproving Raj that with Leonard at least she would be appreciated, and maybe that was enough.

But when Penny looked at that picture of Sheldon, she knew it was all for nothing. She may not be lonely, necessarily, but she still couldn't have him. He had Amy, and she was Amy's best friend. She couldn't do that to her, even if Sheldon _did_ return her feelings - which he almost definitely did not. But she saved the picture anyway. She couldn't not. It was his smile.

_Aw, he looks like the Flash about to get married. Adorable. Why'd you send me that?_

Raj read the text and debated on his answer.

_Because I knew you would appreciate it. And that's exactly what Sheldon said before he found a tissue in the pocket and ran screaming like a little girl. XD Wish I had got it on video, but he was too fast. Truly the Flash would be proud. ;D_

Penny couldn't help but imagine it and snorted so loud her co-workers thought she'd sneezed.

_Well thank you for thinking of how to make me even more miserable today. A dashingly handsome, smiling Sheldon was exactly what the butterflies and razor blades in my stomach needed._

_You're welcome. XD And you know you loved it._

_I did. I have to get back to work. I'll see you guys later._

_See you._

After one last look at the picture, Penny put her phone away and decided to speed things up in her relationship with Leonard to try to drown out the emotions flooding her.

When Leonard proposed during sex that night, she was instantly indignant, enraged, offended even. She couldn't possibly marry him when she felt the way she did about Sheldon. However, after Leonard had tried to take it back she thought _'I'll never be with Sheldon. He has Amy. What if my only chance at happiness - at a family - is with Leonard?'_ She quickly dismissed the thought as insane. _'Even if Leonard is the best I can get...he's still not Sheldon. Could never be Sheldon. I'm in love with an unattainable beautiful mind genius guy that couldn't possibly love me back. And I can't do anything about it. But I wouldn't change it.'_

Penny will continue to love him from afar, because as long as he's happy then she's happy. And if she ends up being an old spinster because of it, then so be it.

~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~

"I cut quite the dashing, yet hygenic figure." _'I wish Penny could see. She would appreciate the tux much more than I.'_ "I look like the Flash about to get married." _'If there were even a chance of Penny returning his feelings he would propose and he would look like this on their wedding day. And she would look as breathtaking as always. But there's no way she could feel that way about me.'_

When Sheldon was calm and clean and in his own clothes again, he pondered his relationships again.

_'Penny's with Leonard, as futile as that is. But they seem committed this time, to some degree. I suppose I'll just stick with Amy. She cares for me. I could care for her, if I wanted to._

_I don't want to be alone anymore.'_


End file.
